In another life, my wife and I gave birth to a dragon and Batman Beyond… True story bro. In another past life, I was Beetlejuice but better looking and I had a happy relationship with Lydia Deetz… As apposed to this life, I’ve not seen my girl since the beginning of September lololol. What is the significance of this whole thing? NOTHING! I’m afraid I’ve gone mad… bonkers… insane… outrageous… But hey, the best people are ;)… If only I had that thing were my name was said 3 times by anyone and I’d appear to them… Make life a HELL of a lot easier and save $$$$ on gas and prostitutes (don’t ask, I’ll tell you when you’re older. Now for something completely different. Some call me cheap, some call me a free loadah, but I bought them cups for that old school soda! I don’t mean to brag, I don’t mean to boast, yo I bought some hummus for these mini toasts!!! Huuuuuummmmmuuusss!!! Cooofffeee! Ham boning!!! Mustache cash stash… Throw the third switch! Throw it I say! THROW IT! MY NAME… IS…. CHRISTOPHER FUCKING WALKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! JEEELLLLLYYYY DOOOOOOONNNNNUUUUUUUTTTTSSS!!!!!
(via MONSTER BRAINS: Hedorah and Godzilla - Anatomical Paintings)
This is truly informative and cool not gonna lie O.o
Bonjour….Soooooooooo sosososososososoooooo My ass hurts from thrusting it around so much by dancing and trying to get where I wanna go! The only place it can’t take me is to Twilight Town to see my girlfriend and a majority of my friends. I need the power of more than one bum! I need another bum to help me get around. I live in Land of Departure’s Temple complex/motel and he lives in New Traverse Town (I lie It;s now radiant garden :P); 15 minute drive in between but what’s balls is that parents are like Honey Badger… THEY DON’T GIVE A SHIT! I’m going to be completely honest… I am dead sexy and I’m in lesbians with my girlfriend and my awesome hamburger that I just made. THANK YOU GOD FOR INVENTING MCCORMACK SEASONINGS YO!!!! I’m mad I missed the Quidditch World cup at my college but Thursday a bunch of bodacious acrobatic babes are gonna be thrusting their bodies around and I wanna crash the party dressed as Christopher Walken only to ruin them and steal their show and get lots of money to buy me some new pants. I need new pants because I took a viagra and the damn thing made my dick break out through my pants! You know how much porn I had to watch to get this thing back to it’s loosey goosey self? The winner was a shit load of hentai I found on Newgrounds and some sites that I found via Google images. I ruined my underwear from jackin off so much so it’s time to go commando until 5:30 tonight when I can go to the market place in Agrabah and buy me new underwear. I used to live on the Destiny Islands but that shit was too friendly. So now I’m learning to be a Keyblade master and I used Firaga to make my delicious hamburger. I live here alone kinda, some old nigga and a Power Ranger that looks like me without his helmet destroyed this place. I got dropped here by a man who’s name backwords is Disney and a mouse who happens to be king of the world (?) Fucking Nazis man! The only other visitor that comes here is my friend who lives in Radiant Garden and he’s training their with some old fuck in a blue night gown, a douche bag with brown hair and a leather jacket wielding a gun that’s also a sword… I call hacks. And there’s also an emo blonde dude who hates this emo silver haired dude and they both are wielding 20 ft long swords… again… I CALL HACKS! :nomegusta: The other person who comes here, wears a black leather hooded trench coat and nigga’s got blue lightsabers like a boss… I get my ass handed to me everytime, but I respect him and honor him and at least his name ain’t mansex and he isn’t trying to rape my glorious head of hair. Sometimes this hottie with jagged blue hair comes around talking to a set of goldish and orange armor and she’s handed my ass to me on a platinum platter like a boss… I let her though, she too hot to hit (bowchickawowow). She’s like a combo of Kate Beckinsale and Olivia Wilde x3 Her voice could use some work though :P I can’t wait til I get my licence, I’m gonna get a gummie ship or turn my keyblade into a motor cycle like that other dude Terra who ALSO handed beat my ass into oblivion… BUT THE TABLES TURNED AROUND AND I KICKED HIS ASS!! I digress, I gotta get my licence so I can be a public nuisance like a boss. At least the Heartless aint around no more… I do miss kickin’ their asses though. Riku! Pick me up son! Kairi!… I love and miss you babe :’( </3 Everyone else… movie night soon! Bring me as many movies involving Walken please lmao! THANK YOU GOOD NIGHT!!!
Why must we live in a yellow submarine!? Why not one that is blue with red highlights, black stripes and triangular white eyes!? Oh wait… THEN IT WOULD BE SPIDER-MAN’S PEEEEEENIIIIIISSSSS!!!!!!!! But wait there’s more! Fascinating stories about what I may or may not be wearing could be told to you if you call this 1-800 number! GET YOU’RE OLD BROTHER’S PERMISSION SON! I DON’T CARE HOW OLD HE IS! Oh you have a sister….. TOO BAD! I’ll give you $2000 in monopoly money if you let me fuck her though! Provided she is bodacious babe with huge… TRACKS OF LAND!!! You know how most men get lonely right? Some times they need to beat a bitch to wear them like scarves and go trotting into a Russian mafia bar and yell HERE’S SOME PUSSY FOR YOU TO SHARE! Mind you she is a complete stranger, so your conscience won’t bug you at all because she probably was a banana girl before you knocked her out at a local K-Mart or S-Mart. It gets boring sometimes to be this handsome and have hands that turn clay into bigger pieces of clay and then turn that into a meal from Burger King with the same bland taste in reality…. Perfect for your father’s birthday present that’s coming up in 3 years! I would say 7 be he’ll have divorced your pregnant grandma before the fourth trimester of the year of the Snake in the Asian Zodiac of awesome and MEAT. How much ass can fit into a light bulb socket!? The answer…. 98765789796546768676547576tguyjih7u76fvukybg67yj with a side of french fries and a man named Abraheem with a fancy shmancy beard that looks like Chuck Noris’s golden locks from his pubic hair! WHICH WAS PERMED!!!!!!! UUUCHUUUU KITAAAAAA!!!!! *flies of into space*
I AM A SCIENTIST NOT A PHILOSOPHER! YOU LOOSE GOOD DAY SIR!!! And then I shout from top of lung EVERLASTING FLAVOR!!!!! What’s that? You saved a bunch on car insurance WITH THE HELP OF KYOJI!?!?!??? Join now and get a free asparagus! If only my nuts could slap a niqqa in da face I’d be a happy penguin swimming in around in Morgan Freeman’s pool and sexing up a flag post and then take Kate Beckinsale out for dinner and play poker with Jack Nicholson. IN COMES CHRISTOPHER WALKEN! WITH DOUGHNUTS! AND ONE OF THEM IS FILLED WITH JELLYYY!!!!!!!!! FWUCK YEAH BITCH! And then I jump out window and drive off with Olivia Wilde and have awesomeness night with her and make babies that look like Nappa and Vegeta… OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!!! You know what bothers me? The economy! $25 DOLLARS FOR ONE CIGARETTE IS TOO MUCH!!! Why in the world are Carmen Sandiago!? CAN I GET A HOT TUB YO!? All hail my everlasting gobstopper! It wasn’t Stewie that was laughing at me… it GORDON FREEMAN!!!!!!! *dies*
Here is where I stand at the crossroads of both desire of people and the desire of nothing. Nothing itself can have a desire… and it’s desire… was… for me to make this account… WITH THE HELP OF KYOJI!!!! Honey Badger don’t give a shit about you people :P But I am going to annoy as many people as possible. Don’t you just love how serious and emo I was just now? And then I was like BLAH! Anyways… Hi.